“If my life is surrendered to God, all is well. Let me not grab it back, as though it were in peril in His hand but would be safer in mine!” ~ Elisabeth Elliot
I was 36 when I found out I was pregnant with my son, Sam. I worked right up until the week before he was born. I am a planner, a type-A person and very proactive, so I read every book about natural childbirth I could get my hands on; watched the Business of Being Born and all kinds of natural/homebirth videos on YouTube; hired a doula; learned Hypnobirthing; and, formulated a birth plan. I was ready!
Three years ago, just after Sam was born, I remember sitting in the keeping room off of my kitchen, warm sunlight pouring in the bank of windows behind me, watching my mother hold and snuggle Sam…feeling nothing but anxiety and fear.